...and I rose with you!

John 1:1-14, 2 Cor 5:17, 2 Cor 8:9, Gal 6:14, Phil 1:21, Phil 3:8, Col 3:1

God of love You came to earth
Born in a manger, the incarnate Word
Full of grace, and full of truth
You healed the leper, You made all things new
Religion despised Your word of love
Condemned You to die in Your innocence
A crown of thorns and mockery
Were Yours my Savior, my precious King

Stained with blood and bruised with pain
The Lamb of God on a cross of shame
Never before and never again
Was love so great, was death so grim
There on the hill You died for me
You took my sin, gave me liberty
I’ll never boast but in Your cross
And all my gains I now count as loss

When sins they rob my heart of joy
And condemnation seems to steal even more
This I recall, You rose again
And I rose with You, hallelujah amen
So if I live in want, or die in shame
To live is You and to die is gain
I in You and You in me
My God, my brother, my indentity

Were I tempted with the best of earth
All it’s pleasures and all it’s gold
And if fame in all it’s kingdoms
Was in my hands to hold
I’d scorn it all for You’ve given me
The treasure of Your Son
And now I’m richer than the richest
For You’ve given me Your love

Direction

I have no idea what I am doing.

"Just follow Jesus"

Well, ok. I'm trying. Is it really that simple? I hope so.

As I was pushing through work tonight I thought how different I am from my coworkers. I definitely am different, but not because of my relationship with Christ. I'm just a different guy haha. It upset me though. I wanted to cry.

It bothered me because I want to care more. I don't care enough about them. If I did, I would minister to them instead of goofing around all the time, just trying for laughs.

I guess I kinda got mad at myself. Mad because I kinda have seen myself as a passionate person, but I'm realizing lately that I'm not really. I'm just a normal guy really, and I'm not ok with that...

I thought also about my future. I'm beginning to feel more and more like I'm wasting my time where I'm at. At my job, at my school, in my town. My friend said I should read through the gospels, so I am. I started in Matthew and that's where I still am. I keep seeing the reckless, instant, unquestioning devotion that Jesus calls us to. I'm thinking, "I don't do that. In fact, who do I know that does that?" I feel like I've missed it. We've missed it.

Maybe I should quit my job?
Maybe I should move sooner than I thought?
Maybe not?

The thing is, I really just don't know what to do.
I want to feel Jesus guiding me in every little action.
I know it's possible because I felt that way before, but I got scared and did my own thing, so that feeling went away. I want it back though. It makes me sad that I pushed those feelings out.
I guess the main thing I'm trying to say is that I don't know what to do, but I want to do it (whatever it is) so badly. I know I need to just follow Jesus. I think that I need to follow him in little steps, and those little steps will add up into major change in my life. I just want and need to feel that guiding hand in my heart again. So that's what I'm praying for.
I don't know who all reads this, but will you pray for me in this?
You don't have to respond to me. Just pray please.

Whom then shall I fear?

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you. My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the Strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 23:25,26

I Must read this everyday. It just brings me to my knees... It's the gospel! My flesh HAS failed and so has my heart, but GOD sent Jesus to die and fulfill the law that I don't measure up to! I have Failed and so Jesus succeeds in my place! I owe him my life. Who do I have but God? My heart and flesh fail! My money fails! My things fail! My education fails! No one is perfect! No one can be counted on in all circumstances! No one but Jesus! Who else do I have? Where else shall I turn? Nowhere but to the feet of my Lord!

This is my reality, and I must re-awaken myself to it each morning.

"Then he said to them all, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.' "
Luke 9:23

I am No Man

I have striven to be a man
I have striven to be a wise man
I have striven to be a righteous man
I have striven to be a songwriter

I have seen that I can't do any of these things.
I can not write songs.
I have no righteousness.
I am have no wisdom.

I am No Man.

I have given up, and realized that all I can do is trust Christ and know him. And suddenly, when all my striving has ceased, I look up and see that He makes me into a Man. Into The Man I am meant to be. He calls me Son. He takes me under his wing, as an apprentice to his Wisdom and Righteousness.


"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." Psalm 73:25-28